Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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