While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
