yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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