I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
