pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
wow bdsm is so cute
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
