When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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