My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
