that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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