Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
