Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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