sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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