I just threw up on my dentist
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
