the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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