If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
