well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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