do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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