You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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