i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
