How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
