I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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