I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
