4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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