im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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