Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
either way he was missing a nipple.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
