she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
