whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
