we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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