there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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