Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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