I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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