They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
