Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
