hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
