You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
