I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
