And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
