Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
