i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
