dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
