just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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