just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
