She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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