I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
