Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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