your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My bed smells like the plague
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