I haven't been this sober since birth.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i now understand why vodka
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
