so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
