She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My life is pants optional.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
