Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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