reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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