he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
