Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
