I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
