my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
