I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
