Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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