I cockslap morals
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
