he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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