i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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