I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
