I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
