Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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