there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
