it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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